Unintentionally Insulting? "Guide to Dating Fat Women"


I stumbled across Guide to Dating Fat Women, a piece at MadeMan.  MadeMan is a website that bills itself as a service “giving guys the info they need to live life well . . . smart advice on everything from beating a speeding ticket to scoring a hot model.”

I think the fact that it was written by a woman might have given me some hope for the quality of its content. Regardless of why, upon first glance I expected something weighty and insightful, maybe even a bit witty.  What I found was anything but . . .

Scanning the section heads should’ve clued me.  “Buy her dinner” – “Never call her fat” – “Bake her something”?  Really?  These alone should have been a warning.   But of course, the headline grabbed my attention and in I went, without bothering the scan those section heads.  By the time I was finished reading, I wished I had.

The piece seems to originate in productive advice, but it manages to deliver that advice in an overtly insulting manner.  Not only does everything the writer mentions apply to a hell of a lot more people than just fat women, but I truly think the writer was not intending to be insulting at all.  I really think she was trying to be helpful.  The fact that even with this effort she is as insulting as she is points to our pervasive cultural anti-fat bias and the power of the subconscious mind to perpetuate it. 

I really don’t think I’m being hyper-sensitive here.  You read it, and tell me what you think. 



Middle-aged, life-long Texan with a substantial chip on her shoulder.

Posted in culture, education, fat, relationships
4 comments on “Unintentionally Insulting? "Guide to Dating Fat Women"
  1. Colleen says:

    Oh, my God. I read the whole article slack-jawed (and not so I could shovel in a cheesecake). What's next? Guidelines for dating short women? Hairy women? Don't we all like pretty much the same things?That article is offensive on multiple levels. I don't even know where to start. Women do not change species just because they don't fit societal standards for beauty. Nor do they all become identical. All "fat girls" love to eat? Really? Because obviously she couldn't have gotten over a size zero if she didn't stuff her face, right? And don't call her fat because she won't like that, although most women are okay with it. Don't be ashamed to be seen with her? Seriously? Wtf?

  2. Bess says:

    I saw the title and didnt read it and now Im glad I didnt. If a man has to classify their date as "fat" or "not fat" and date the two differently… well- then I dont want to date that guy! We are women! we arent fat women or skinny women- we are all just women of all shapes + sizes and all want to be treated and looked at the same!

  3. LollyJane says:

    All that I could think of was, "but I hate cheesecake!!!" I feel robbed. I didn't like this article to begin with, but if they'd suggested that he bake me a pie, it would have gotten a much better response!

  4. Riot.Jane says:

    MMMmmmmmmmmmmm, pie 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 24 other followers

  • 6,481 Visitors (+ ~18.1k from TJP)
%d bloggers like this: