Greetings to the Ladies Jane —
The city of Yakima, Washington passed a law this past Monday that criminalizes female butt-cracks, see-through dresses, and whale-tale.
Yakima Mayor Dave Elder, coincidentally a church pastor, insists the target of the law is so-called “sexpresso” businesses where scantily-clad baristas prepare and serve coffee to customers. He says he initially wanted to classify the “adult” coffee-houses as sexually-oriented businesses and then change the SOB ordinance, but city legal staff warned that trying to do so could cause legal challenges.
The law falls under indecent exposure, with a first offense misdemeanor conviction garnering up to 90 days incarceration and $1,200 fine. If a child under 14 sees the offense, the punishment increases to up to 1 year incarceration with $5,000 fine. For the top of your underwear or, God forbid, the top of your butt-crack showing when you bend over!
The Mayor insists that this law is intended to apply only to coffeehouses, not to the public at large, but the law isn’t written that way. The mayor also insists that this law is intended to protect women: “If you want to create an environment where crime can happen. You turn a blind eye to adult businesses.” How about applying the law to people who actually commit crimes instead of policing female attire?
Let me get this straight: In an effort to protect women freely working at “adult” coffeehouses, Yakima passed a community-wide gender-specific law that criminalizes accidental and incidental undergarment or anatomic display? With stiffer penalties if a child, her child, sees it? And you didn’t even bother to write the law to specify that it applies only to said coffeehouses?
So much for the common knowledge that the Pacific Northwest is somehow more Bohemian, Progressive, or Enlightened than the rest of this country! If I hadn’t read it myself, I’d be convinced this was someone’s sick joke.